The Bastard’s  Review of Worldwide Nightclubs

As part of my mission to assist men all over the world to fully experience sexual diversity, and as most of the best men’s clubs I have visited around the world don’t exactly have a “Sluts R Us” sign above the door, I want to help document and publicize the best night clubs, night spots and ho-houses worldwide. To get the ball rolling, I’ve followed the format of the weekly Russian publication The Exiles and their Clubs Review, and written three reviews of well known and personally experienced clubs in both Brazil and Russia. Please do your bit for your fellow man by forwarding your own reviews of men’s clubs to the email address at the end of this chapter.

RUSSIA – MOSCOW:

Night Flight : Restaurant & Night Club :
(Address - UI. Tverskaya street No: 17, Moscow)

Chances of get laid *****     Drink & Other Service Prices $$$$

Epitomizes high-class decadence in Moscow. Any man who visits is guaranteed to feel lo-o-oved. The menu actually makes Night Flight one of Moscow’s better eating places, and we are talking about the food upstairs, not just the prey downstairs. New nouvelle-Scandinavian cuisine takes fusion to another level, with everything from elk carpaccio and reindeer steak to the excellent cheesecakes. Downstairs the place is packed with super hot babes, favorable ratios, great buzz and to top it off, the girls usually chat you up whether you want to get laid that night or not. The favorite place in Moscow for married men, who have given the place two hastily-removed wedding rings up.

Personal input - Last time I visited, there seemed to be a floor limit set by most girls at $200. They also added a new business-class lounge that will set you back further. Dance floor is tiny so stick to the drinking and just cut to the negotiations.

Safari Lodge : Restaurant & Night Club :
(Address – UI. Pokrovka Street No: 32-34 Moscow).

Chances of get laid *****     Drink & Other Service Prices $$

Makes a good and cheaper alternative to Night Flight. For those guys who already appreciate Moscow night life, it’s the latest project from Jean Michel of Chesterfields and Voodoo fame. Less expensive, less tourists, with more focus than Night Flight on the erotic rather than the negotiations, but still plenty of opportunity to get laid. Hands-on personal strip shows. For more intimate encounters, a private “dacha” out the back for guys who want the full VIP treatment. Nice grill restaurant upstairs.

Personal input – Drinks are surprisingly cheap for Moscow. A sort of deliciously debauched Night Flight for the locals. No chance of meeting any expat women in this club. Wait a minute, who says that’s a problem? I will take a Russian babe over an expat any time.
 

Metelista (Cherry Casino):Restaurant, Casino & Night Club :

(Address – Novy Arbat  No: 21 Moscow).

Chances of get laid ****                     Drink & Other Service Prices $$$$

I would be here everyday if I could afford it. A Moscow legend. Wall-to-wall models. The place where Moscow’s best looking and priciest ho’s can be found. If you ever dreamed of getting laid by a model-level babe who will then coldly dump you and make you feel depressed about yourself, then this is your place.

Personal Input – The hos start at $300 and can go as high as thousands a night for super-model types. Dance floor and stage often feature the cheesiest Russian pop stars, not really a high for the visiting expat businessman 

RIO DE JANEIRO – BRAZIL

Help – Night Club :
(Address –Copacabana Beach Rio de Janeiro Brazil)

Chances of get laid *****                   Drink & Other Service Prices $$$

 Rio de Janeiro’s legendary club. Barely legal, 20ish hos, lots of students who don’t study much, pack in every night of the week in Rio. Favorable ratios, great buzz and leave all your pick-up moves at home: be more prepared to protect your ass and balls from groping by friendly devas. If you like to gawk at the talent, this is your place: average girl’s clothing doesn’t leave anything to the imagination. Spandex heaven. Stays packed all night. Prices are negotiated around the $100 to $200 dollar mark.
Personal Input – This is a real expat and tourist club. Most of the hos have a duel purpose in working this place: work and catching an unsuspecting gringo husband to offer them world travel and a happy future.

Barbarella – Night Club :
(Address –Off Copacabana Beach, Rio de Janeiro Brazil)

Chances of get laid *****       Drink & Other Service Prices $$$$

Sluts, sluts, sluts and hos seven days a week. If chasing hardcore prostitutes is your favorite pass time, this is your place. Getting laid here is easier than fishing in the frozen-food section of the supermarket. Every night is always dark, sleazy and slut intensive. Small talk lasts around 3 to 5 minutes before the negotiations start. 

Personal Input – They pack you in like sardines. Don’t be surprised if some chick passes you her phone number while deep throating the guy at the next table.

SAO PAULO – BRAZIL:

Café Photo – Restaurant & Night Club :
(Address - Sao Paulo Brazil)